Sunday, July 17, 2011


There are some stories in life that are so personal, so heartbreakingly beautiful, and so humbling that they are hard to share. It is hard to find the right words to describe how intimately the Father knows us.


Is one of those stories.

My first week in Uganda I had the privilege of meeting and holding and tickling and kissing a little baby named Jacob. For some unknown reason I felt an instant connection with him. He was all smiles and giggles and had the most trusting eyes. The very next week. This precious child of God died. It shattered me. I blogged about it here. How dare the Father let this little one die with out a family, a mother, without anyone who would mourn for him. So I decided I would. I did not know him well, but I missed him. From that point forward any child at the orphanage I met that felt the slightest bit feverish I marched them to the nurse and demanded medicine. When I left Uganda I thought Jacob and his story would just stay there and it would be something I would think about often. But nothing more.

Fast forward to around November of 2010. One evening I was browsing Uganda adoption blogs [a favorite past time!] and I stumbled across Lovelyn's blog. I read her story of how her family brought baby Clayton home and I realized that I knew her son! He was at Sanyu when I was and I had pictures of him!!! I excitedly emailed her an
d attached the pictures. I could not believe it! I remember her son being so adorable and so full of life and laughter--just like Jacob. Her heart for orphans is inspiring and contagious and makes me want to reach for more in life. As I was reading her story of bringing Clayton home I read about how during this process she had to tell a woman that the child she was trying to bring home, Lucas, had died before she had the chance to go back and get him. Can you imagine. What is worse is that her son died in October and she did not find out until January. So I clicked on her blog.

and I froze.

All along the top of her blog were pictures. Pictures of Jacob. Jacob had a mother. Her name was Anna. I now know that the trust and life I saw in his eyes was because he had already known love. A mothers love. I was not the only one grieving for this child. His mother was and is grieving for him. I sat in my bed and sobbed.

How. Out of the thousands of blogs out there how did I come across this one?
Only the Father could have orchestrated this one.

So I emailed her.

Dear Anna Marie,

I honestly have no clue how I found you! I was looking back over my blog from last year and re-reading the post about "Jacob". I noticed that someone named Love had commented on the post that she had the privilege of knowing Lucas as well, and getting to rock him to sleep one time. So I went to look at her blog and I remembered Elijah/Clayton! I got to play with him a lot and even had some pictures of him too that I sent to her. When I was reading her post on getting Clayton home I ran across the story of how you had sent her pictures of Clayton as a little baby. Then when I read that she had to be the one to email you about Lucas's death my heart broke. But, she typed that she had gotten to rock him to sleep once my heart about stopped. I knew she meant Jacob. I immediately went to your blog and was frantically reading. As soon as I saw Lucas's pictures...I just wept. Someone else loved him, had grieved him, and missed him in this huge world besides me. He had known love and Christ had not forgotten him nor forsaken him. I couldn't sleep that night. What were the chances that almost exactly a year later I found Love's blog, and your blog and had spent time with and loved on both your son's?!

Over the past few months Anna, Lovelyn, and I have emailed and kept in touch. Their blogs are incredible and inspire me. But this story gets better. The Father was not finished yet.

Anna is getting married at the end of July, and Lovelyn's son Clayton will be the ring bearer in the wedding, and I am going. I have never met either of these incredible women, and the
wedding is in Minnesota and I live in North Carolina. But there are some things in this life that you just cannot miss--and this is one of them.

One little boy. Lucas Jacob Ssuna. Has inextricably connected our lives together. He is the author and perfecter of our lives. He gives us hope when we need it and strength and just the right time. I know
that the Father has many more great plans for this little boy's story. Today I know that Lucas runs on streets of gold and knows a place that has no pain
or sickness or heart ache. He is made whole and complete in the presence of the perfect One.

Anna. Lovelyn. I cannot wait to meet you two. To talk of love,
and life, and orphans, and Africa, and Lucas. To celebrate together how He makes all things new as Anna starts a beautiful new life with her husband. I cannot wait to see where the Lord will take this story next.