Thursday, January 14, 2010

leaving on a jet plane.

Well. All good things come to an end at some point. I have mixed emotions about leaving. I am sad, happy, confused, a little nervous. But there are so many good memories here. And...once Africa is in your never gets out. I will be back here. I am not sure when....but it will happen.

Here are a list of some of the memories I will always remember.

-singing in the kitchen with Hannah and Courtney while cooking Italian
- not being able to eat freshly slaughtered goat on my first day because the guys had hung the skin up on the wall
-going to Gulu and eating goat on a stick through the bus window and surviving 400 speed bumps there and back
-bathing in a bucket in the middle of the night in the middle of the yard in gulu
- the first time I went to the babies homes and heard the babies call me Mommy
-being on the taxi with Catherine and the Mocha Boys and them all having to smell my arms because of the woman with rotten fish in a basket (don't ask)
-two words. jungle trekking
-living in true Christian community at the Morris house
- crazy boda rides with Loring
-going to the deaf school and learning sign language
-"leading" a choir
-dancing at the Remand Home
-teaching to children that don't know english
-using my first aid kit to bandage up children
-little Jacob's smile
-Maria's laugh
-the deaf boy with Beautiful blue eyes
-seeing real Safari animals!!!
-serving the Lord and learning what that truly looks like
-learning to love with Christ's love
-seeing prayers answered

Oh the memories. This was such a blessing that the Lord would look upon me and use me for His glory. I am coming home a new woman. And that is exactly what I had prayed for.


is where I am headed. everything will still be there. It is me who has changed!

Friday, January 1, 2010

a new thing. 2010

It is pouring outside. I feel like God is washing us clean for the new year. It sounds like my own personal symphony on the clay roof. All of the other sounds in Kampala are drowned out by the rain. I love it.

With it being the new year I keep hearing the Lord saying. Let it go. Let the past go. If you do there will be more room for me. Let it go and I will rush in and fill up all of those places that are still taken up by unnecessary thoughts. So I am going to let him. It is a new year after all.

I feel such an immense peace and joy right now. I am learning to enjoy my singleness (never thought I would say that!). I am however, glad that 2009 is over. It was simultaneously the best and worst year of my life. It contained more tears, more pain, more heartbreak, more confusion, more courage, more joy, more laughter, and more hope than I ever thought possible. Now, I do not have the SLIGHTEST clue what the Lord has planned for 2010....but I am not too worried about it. If He can bring me through hell and back I think I am going to be just fine. I am going to leave the next 364 days alone and trust that they are in his hands.

Can I be honest with you? For the past 23 years of my life I have always had a fear of the unknown, change, the future. I am not sure when it happened, but somewhere along this journey towards the light the chains of fear dropped. Slowly, as past fears and hurts began to drop away like dandelions in the breeze. I allowed the Lord in. I let Him heal me. As I am writing this I can hear my dear friends and family exhale "Finally!" My eyes well up with tears at the amount of patience, love, and support you have all shown me over the past year and a half. Thank you.

While I am sad I only have 2 weeks left in this wonderfull, confusing, frustrating country....I know that it is time for this chapter to come to an end. This trip has read like a good book. It took awhile to get into the story, but once I did I loved it, and now I have that sad hesitant feeling I get when I see only a few pages left to turn. I don't want to keep reading it so it won't end...but I am desperate to find out what happens!

It won't be long now until I am curled up on the couch at home with Gracie. A fire will be going and we will be watching movies or telling stories. I have a feeling that it may be a difficult transition back to the states. I am a whole new person and I have to carve out a new place for myself. Friends and family....I hope you like the new me.
But I noticed the other day that the light in my eyes has I am sure you will.

Praise the Lord for a new year and a new me! Meredith version 2010 will be seeing you all in 14 days!!!

“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”-Isaiah 43:16