About 6 months ago I ended a post with this--
"I am living in this intake of breath. In that moment right before you turn the corner and see a beautiful sight. I have seen the glimmer of joy and hope in His eyes and He is about to lead me somewhere amazingly unexpected. The Spirit is whispering to hold on, more change is coming, but cling to me. He will lead me."
Well, let me just make a confession. In the back of my mind I was wishing and hoping and praying that where the Lord was leading me was to a man. I mean-- it has been awhile so certainly it was my turn, right Lord? I have tried to be patient. I have served. So wasn't it my time? Those are the thoughts [lies] that ran a race through my head and my heart. That whispering and urging I was getting from the Spirit...that more change was coming but hold on...hold on beloved. I heard that right. The unexpected was not found in a new relationship, but instead in a beautiful group of people who gave me an outlet for my passion for orphan care. The reclaim | orphans crew helped breath new life into my weary soul. In the midst of hardship and families going through painful situations the Lord placed them in my life at the most opportune time. That beautiful sight I was hoping for....well I will get to see it in August.
He is leading me back to Uganda with some of my most precious and dearest friends.
When I left for Uganda in September of 2009..I was shattered, and bitter, and lonely, and desperately hoping that the Lord would meet me there. Never in a million years would I have imagined that He would send me back with so many that I love.
This trip will look so much different than the last trip. For starters it is going to be 6 married couples and me! The reclaim | orphans crew will be making the trek for 10 adventure filled life changing days! On top of that--some of these families will be meeting the children they will be bringing home.
I have no words
[oh Lord, how good you are]
That is a far cry from me on a plane alone wondering if I had just made the mistake of a lifetime.
It could be interesting---traveling the globe with 6 married couples--but the Lord has been continually encouraging me with Psalm 34: 8-10
Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
A quote from a blog I recently read perfectly sums up my feelings on this verse!
"Accepting singleness, whether temporary or permanent, does not hinge on speculation about answers God has not given to our list of whys, but rather on celebration of the life he has given. I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single, The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me."
I am so grateful to be in the presence of so many incredible married couples. You know who you are and you all, always, make me feel so welcome, and so at home, and so accepted. I have the privilege of learning from your marriages. The good, the bad, and the ugly! And Lord bless the man He has for me---because he is going to have a lot of men to impress [live up to] and a lot of women to convince....we are quite the group to take on!
As I approach 25 the lyrics from a John Mayer song keep playing through my head "might be a quarter-life...just a stirrin' in my soul"
Honestly, some days, I feel like that. Like I want to throw in the towel, pack everything up, and live in a little house on a hill in Kampala and start an orphanage...but then I am reminded. That right now RIGHT NOW...
I lack no good thing.