i can see the light, before i see the sunrise.

I am coming to the end of my time of preparation for this trip. I have almost completed my packing list and I am pretty positive that I am bringing enough medication to cure a village! And now all there is to do is wait and "prepare" as much as one can prepare to live in Africa. I had a wonderful going away party and it was so encouraging to be surround by so many people who have supported me and care about me. I honestly think that I have the best friends and family in the whole world! It took many people to pull off such a wonderful party and I am extremely indebted and grateful to everyone!
There are still times when I really cannot believe that in less than two weeks I am going to be in Africa. I have no clue what is waiting for me there. I know where I will be living and I have a grasp on the ministry outreaches I will be involved with, but beyond that....clueless! As the post title says, "i can see the light, before I see the sunrise" thus are my feelings towards Africa. I have not seen anything there yet, but I have caught glorious glimpses of the light that it will hopefully bring into my life. So many people have told me how brave I am for doing this. I don't feel very brave, in fact I am pretty scared... but what I have been shocked by is how little anxiety I am having and how at peace I feel about this decision. I know that for the first time in a long time I am completely and perfectly inside the will of God. Knowing that provides such peace and freedom. Freedom from fear, worry, anxiety, etc.
I have had a few people ask me what I hope to learn or gain from this experience, and I am going to let someone else's words speak for me. This is a quote from a wonderful book, "Let me be a Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot, and it perfectly summed up what I am hoping to gain.

"You yourself will be given light in exchange for pouring out yourself for the hungry; you yourself will get guidance, the satisfaction of your longings, and strength, when you "pour yourself out," when you make the satisfaction of somebody else's desire your own concern; you yourself will be a source of refreshment, a builder, a leader into healing and rest at a time when things around you seem to have crumbled."

That is exactly what I am hoping to learn and gain. How to pour myself out for others and in return gain guidance, satisfaction, and healing. Because for most of this year I have felt like everything around me has been crumbling. My sense of security, my plans, my dreams.... but... I serve a Lord who promises to rebuild our ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated. I have seen His light and now I am anxious to see the sunrise!!

T-minus 12 days.....